Illuminati Tinder Weirdo
(For clarity I am a straight, 21 year old female) So in November of 2016 I went through a pretty bad break up. In October 2017 I finally felt comfortable enough to try to get back into the dating world. So like a moron I got on Tinder and it wasn't my first rodeo with Tinder but this was the strangest thing that happened to me. So towards the end of October I met a guy named Dave on Tinder. And from the looks of it he was an okay guy. He was funny and a gentleman. Didn't ask for anything inappropriate, it seemed fine. We talked for about 2 weeks and set up a time to go on a date. We decided to meet in the city where he had recently moved to, which was about 35 minutes away from my house. I got to the bar to wait for him and he was 15 minutes late. He walked in and look relatively similar to his pictures, which I was happy about. And then he opened his mouth to talk and he had a very strange voice, like he was always on the verge of crying. Very weird. He had some tattoos on his arm, including the All Seeing Eye Illuminati symbol. Trying to break the tension I jokingly said, "Illuminati confirmed! Tell me all your secrets!" And he goes, "What the hell are you talking about? Don't say that kind of stuff in public." I just kinda laughed it off and he was being real weird. He then says, "You know that people who pry, are people who die." I just looked at him and I genuinely did not know how to respond. Fast forward about 20 minutes and a couple of my friends came to the bar at my urging. I moved to sit on the same side as him so that my friends could sit on the same side of the booth. The minute I sit down he puts his hand on my knee and squeezes. And not like "oh I'm interested" but a hard fuckin squeeze. I looked at him to stop and he leans over and whispers, "You have lovely knee caps." Like, boy what????? By the time my friends left (Which was about an hour into the date) he had 7 beers. It was a Tuesday. As I go to close my tab he stands behind me and HE HAD A BONER. Full mast, boner. I very quickly signed my receipt and stepped away. As I'm getting ready to say goodbye it starts raining and he then informs me that he walked to the bar from his house and asks for a ride home. Reluctantly I agreed. And on the very short drive to his house he informs me that it's not actually his house and that he is living in his sister's basement. When I finally park in front of his house, he leans over to kiss me and I tried to give him the cheek and he physically turns my head and puts his ENTIRE tongue in my mouth. And I pulled away and this guy did it AGAIN! I finally pulled away and said, "Get the fuck out of my car." And he responds with, "I am in love with you, I knew from the moment I saw your pictures, you have to come inside and meet my sister and her husband." I told him that if he didn't get out of my car I was calling the police. And he started tearing up and got out of my car. So, weird, boner, Illuminati guy. LET'S NOT MEET Category:LetsNotMeet stories